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What are some funny and smart quotes?

09.06.2025 11:17

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

With massive funding round and $31 billion valuation, Anduril is nearing the size of defense industry giants it wants to displace - Fortune

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

See photos: Miguel Angel Jiménez wins the Principal Charity Classic - The Des Moines Register

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”